Our adoption journey is a living example of the saying: “While you’re busy making plans, life happens.” We wanted to add a girl to our family of two boys, and after having a miscarriage, in October we applied at PLAN to adopt a baby from Vietnam.
In March I received the call from PLAN: they had a baby girl for us! I was so excited, I sent my husband flowers with the announcement he had a baby girl in Vietnam. We ran down to PLAN and picked up her photos. We named her, and we claimed her. While waiting for the paperwork to clear, we prepared.
In early June I got a call from PLAN’s International Program Director, Judy Elkins. She sadly told us she had some horrible news: Our baby had died in the orphanage. I thought I would pass out from the pain! How could I care so much for a baby I had never held? She had died from a staph infection, something that could have been treated here! If only we could have gotten her sooner, if only I could have held her in my arms, if only I could have been there when she died. We all went through a mourning process full of grief and anger. PLAN was there for us, helping ease our fears and calm our anxieties, sharing our pain.
We decided to try again, and so we had to wait again. It wasn’t long before the new call came from Judy. They had another baby girl for us. I was scared. Should I get attached? Should I tell anyone? I did both. I ran down to PLAN and picked up the photos. I told everyone. Her name was Thi Mi Hanh Vo, and she was beautiful. Now we had to wait again while the process in Vietnam moved ahead.
And again, life happened. I found a lump—stage 4 breast cancer. Life went from adopting to surviving. I had two surgeries and started chemotherapy before the end of October. I was scared to contact my social worker. Would PLAN stop the adoption? But after we met with her, our social worker was satisfied that in the event I died, Thi Mi Hanh Vo would be cared for just like our other children. Mark agreed he wanted to proceed.
In November we finished the process, and it was time to travel. But my doctor told me that the chemotherapy had significantly reduced my immunity to disease. After all this preparation, I COULDN’T GO! On November 16th Mark and his mother left for Vietnam. I sat by the phone. Another unforgettable phone call came from Mark. “I am holding our beautiful baby girl in my arms”. It makes me cry to write this. I will never forget their arrival at the airport, surrounded by family and friends. I was bald! My daughter would have a bald mama. Would it scare her? I hoped not. When they arrived, my husband placed her in my arms. I cried, but so did she!
At some point we were told her Vietnamese name means “ beautiful well-behaved girl,” and my first thought was, “How does a person live up to that name?” But she does! Her beauty shines from inside out, and I can’t imagine life without her. I was told by my cancer doctor to set a goal of walking her to kindergarten. Instead, I had set a goal of walking her to graduation. Now our baby is eleven years old, and I am still healthy. My new goal is to travel to Vietnam one day to share the beauty of the miracle that she is our daughter. I want to be around as her life happens!