Everyone told us we’d need lots of patience
to adopt a child. The preliminary classes and paperwork took a
long time for us. We needed to absorb all the lessons from our
preadopt course, the Loving Options manual, the Waiting Family
seminars, and the recommended books and articles. We were
patient with ourselves. Our families needed patience with us
too; all four of our parents were eager to meet their first
grandchild. “Haven’t you finished your paperwork yet?” we heard
at each family gathering. Finally, just before Thanksgiving, we
turned in our family profile and became a “waiting family”.
Now we practiced a different flavor of
patience. We waited to buy baby clothes and supplies, thinking
it would just make the wait seem longer. We expected to have
time to prepare after we were selected by a birth family. We
resolved to wait until the end of January before calling the
PLAN office to beg for news. But we didn’t have to call: PLAN
called us! A hospital had just connected them with a young woman
named Robin* who had given birth two days earlier. She was ready
to select an adoptive family. If she selected us, we would need
to leave the next morning and drive out-of-town to meet Robin.
If everyone decided to proceed with the adoption, we would drive
back that same day with a baby girl! With stomachs churning, we
started preparing ourselves, our bosses and our families for
that possibility. A few hours later, we got the call: Robin
wanted to meet with us to see if we were a match!
Now we didn’t need patience; we needed
adrenaline! Fortunately, we had plenty to spare. We need a car
seat! We need a lawyer! We need diapers! We need to ask for
leave from work! We need to sit down for a moment and try to
think straight! No use—better get up again and get busy. We
wrapped up things at our offices, called our families, and went
shopping. Of course, we still had questions, and we weren’t
completely sure this was the adoption for us. We tried to be
ready to become overnight parents while still preparing for
possible disappointment.
We drove four hours the next morning and
met with the PLAN social worker briefly before our lunchtime
match meeting. Robin turned out to be a pretty young woman with
a sweet smile. She was very poised and reserved, and seemed much
less nervous than we were! We spent over two hours talking with
her and learning about her. After deciding that all of our
questions and concerns had been addressed, we told Robin we
would love to adopt her child. It was an emotional moment for
everyone.
Everybody headed for the hospital where we
met a tiny and precious infant—our beautiful daughter! We had
time for a simple impromptu entrustment ceremony; we lit the
unity candle from our wedding, and a pair of candleholders that
fit together for Robin and the baby. We tried to thank Robin
through our tears.
As we drove home, we were in shock. We
couldn’t believe we had a baby in our car! She slept peacefully
as we called our family and friends to share the happy news. We
spent the weekend deciding on a name: Kendra Alexis Weller.
Grandparents and friends began arriving to visit our new
miracle. They brought piles of gifts. We can’t wait to see
Kendra wearing the clothes, chewing on the toys, reading the
books, and smiling at us. We know it will happen, in time; we
just need to have patience. That’s what it takes to be a parent.
*birthmother’s name has been changed to
protect her privacy.