Although we are world travelers, we were
scared on the flight to Guatemala —not because we were afraid
the plane would go down in flames, but because we were afraid we
would!
We were on our way to pick up the son we
had seen only in photos. What if he totally rejected us? Another concern hovered in the backs of our minds. We are both attorneys who enjoy working hard and playing
hard, then relaxing by eating good food and reading quietly. Would the baby who had been selected for us by some
mysterious process fit in with our life style? We’d adapt no matter what, but it was hard not to wonder
what kind of personality our new son would have.
The day after we arrived at our hotel in
Guatemala City, we met Eduardo for the first time. We had spent only half an hour visiting and filling in
papers with his foster mother and the facilitator, and now we
were alone. Instead of crying for his foster mother, Eduardo surprised us by
sitting there quietly, watching us with his beautiful, dark
eyes. Was he an
exceptionally intelligent, calm child who was reacting more
maturely than one would expect of a one-year old? Or...was it what all parents fear at some point, that he
was a delayed child...?
Underneath our new-parent jitters, we knew
that each child has his own way of reacting to new situations
and that it’s important to just relax and take time to get to
know each other. So we began with the basics: meet your baby’s needs, love him, and do what you
normally do. We fed
him, put him in a front pack, and went for a walk around the
city. Eduardo soon
showed us that his natural reaction is to calmly assess new
situations.
We stayed in Guatemala for five days,
touring and playing with Eduardo to find out what he liked to
do. We had brought
toys and books with us but, of course, he preferred to play with
water bottles and plastic containers of food that he could
rattle. We were
staying in a hotel recommended by PLAN that was accustomed to
helping adoptive parents. Since Eduardo was used to being in a walker, they loaned
us one and also brought up a crib. We encouraged the hotel staff to interact with our son,
and they talked and giggled with him. He especially liked Raul who would say “bravo!” and clap
whenever he saw Eduardo. (Eduardo still claps whenever we say “bravo!” to him.)
When we arrived home in Oregon, Eduardo
could sit up and throw things, but he hadn’t learned to crawl
because his foster mother had him use a walker. Fortunately, our neighbors were great resources—a
pediatric nurse and an early childhood development specialist
taught us how to teach Eduardo to crawl, an essential step for
good coordination. He fought it, but finally figured out he could get somewhere by
crawling, so learned quickly after that.
The biggest surprise Eduardo had for us is
that he fits into our life style perfectly. He’s very athletic, and loves dancing wildly to any kind
of music, yet he loves to sit in our laps and read quietly with
us too. Even in the
beginning, he was a joy to take to a restaurant! Our facilitator told us it’s always amazing that even
though the adoption process matches babies randomly with
adoptive parents, somehow the matched parents and children
always seem to belong together.
Every day with Eduardo brings new joys. As he approaches his second birthday, days of quiet observation have been replaced with days filled with basketball, soccer, chasing and climbing. The adoption journey continues to be an adventure as we learn how to be the parents Eduardo needs and wants us to be. While that journey can at times be challenging, it is in every way worth the trip!